Somehow, early into our marriage we started working against one another. Really, it could have even been before we got married.
Luke started his own business a couple of months before we got engaged. We got engaged August 28, 2011 and I moved in with him a month or two after that. He was dealing with no longer being in the corporate world, starting an insurance business from scratch, then me and my dog moving in to his house with his 2 dogs when he’d been single for a few years. I’m sure was a lot for him to juggle within a matter of months.
I had just gone to work for a large oil & gas company a month before we got engaged. I had left my successful banking career for something brand new and making less money. Then leaving my first home (that I bought 9 years ago today, actually) and trying to learn how to live with a male and combine two established homes so we had 2 or more of everything. I was used to doing everything on my own. *insert that I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-T song here.* And doing what I wanted when I wanted. So was he.
Super long story short, we did not support one another in almost anything. Especially career wise. There were often back to back days of screaming, crying and hurt feelings. Lots of tears in private. Lots of ‘why did I get married’ thoughts. I’m undecided on how much I’ll share with marriage/career/balance drama but I will say it took us about 5 years before we started supporting one another. I’d gone from oil and gas to working for him (at an office I hated) back to banking then owning a brick and mortar business. Towards the end of my store being sold, I was about 3 months pregnant with baby #2, I’d already started a home based business and was transitioning to staying home with our kids and we finally started realizing what we can accomplish with the support of one another. We were trying!
Sometimes I wonder if we could have supported one another, communicated and just ‘gotten it’ all that time ago, where we’d be today. Sometimes I’m thankful for all we’ve been thru. Sometimes I still get really pissed because I have a hard time forgiving.
I look forward to our future now and new adventures together. Something I wasn’t even sure of (until probably this year) would even happen. It’s a work in progress but it’s work we are willing to do!